One of the questions that is often asked with regard to
Attachment Theory is - what are the Behaviours in a Primary Carer that
Contribute to fostering a Secure Attachment in a Child. The question is also
often asked in reverse also, i.e. what are the behaviours that contribute to an
Insecure Attachment. A related question is what are the corresponding behaviours
in the child that are triggered by the various behaviours of the primary carer.
This article attempts to answer these questions.
As with much of Attachment Theory, The Strange Situation is
one of the best tools there is to understand the dynamics of attachment and to
answer the questions posed above. The Strange Situation experiment begins with a Primary Carer sitting near a child in an unfamiliar room filled with toys. It looks at a child's responses when a) a stranger joins the primary carer in a room and attempts to interact with the child b) when the primary carer leaves the room with the stranger staying and c) when the primary carer returns. This experiment has taught us that it
is a child’s response to its primary carer at reunion, rather than separation,
that reveals the most about attachment security and insecurity. Let us begin by analysing the responses of the
child in the Strange Situation.
In the experiment, secure children are immediately reassured
by reconnecting with their primary carer no matter how distressed they had been
by their original separation and are rapidly able to resume play.
Avoidant children do not seek the primary carer out when she
returns. The avoidant child appears more interested in the toys and does not
appear to miss her.
Ambivalent /resistant children are not comforted by the
primary carer’s return at all and remain distressed.
Disorganised/disorientated children appear afraid of the
primary carer upon her return.
So with a basic understanding of the child’s responses, let
us look at the carer’s behaviours that contribute to triggering these.
In essence, it is the quality of communication in the
relationship between the primary carer and child, that determines the
difference between a secure and an insecure attachment relationship. Below are
some of the things that contribute to these relationships.
Children who are securely attached are picked up quickly by
their primary carers when they cry and they are held with tenderness and care.
They are only held for as long as they want to be held. Their primary carers tend
to blend their rhythms’ with those of their child. According to Ainsworth(1978), “these mothers’ behaviours reflected sensitivity rather than
misattunement, acceptance rather than rejection, cooperation rather than
control and emotional availability rather than remoteness”.
These primary carers read the child’s nonverbal cues and
respond. Secure infants communicate their feelings and needs directly, safe in
the knowledge that their communication will evoke an attuned response.
The primary carers of avoidant children are generally
uncomfortable with physical contact rand tend to be emotionally unavailable.
These children, as a result react with anger to their mother’s rejection and
their own attachment needs tend to be sidestepped.
The primary carers of ambivalent infants tend to be
inconsistently responsive to their infants attachment signals. This is due to
the primary carer’s own state of mind intruding on her ability to tune into her
children. Consequently, these children learn to communicate their attachment
needs in a persistent way in the hope that keeping up the pressure would keep
up the care.
The primary carers of disorganised infants tend to be
frightened, disassociated or to frighten their children. These children as a
result are fearful of the parent but have no coherent strategy on how to manage
their attachment behaviours.
